gonna see if I can’t make it better with some smut before I completely pass out

Because I am zero ideas richer for Kaisei but I am now the creator of about a sixth of a scarf with only one dropped stitch.

Fuck this, I’m depressed after coming home to California, I’m gonna keep knitting until I have me a scarf.

Tomorrow will mark the one-week mark of me being on abilify, that atypical anti-psychotic that was making me have panic attacks leading up to taking it because of many, many reasons.  Let’s go over the things that I’ve done this week.

1. Stopped hearing and seeing things
2. Started being able to apply myself at work again and kicked the hell out of the “issues” my manager told me about in my review
3. Started looking for and applying to jobs back in the town where I really want to live, particularly at my alma mater
4. Started up two novels of widely different scopes
5. Talked to my therapist about how to best market and present these various novels in the manner in which I am planning
6. Realized the inherent problems with the starts of the two novels and figured out how to fix those problems within an hour of thought for each
7. Dived right back into the writing without feeling like a dumbass failure
8. Figured out designs for the novels, both in terms of covers and characters, which I have never done well before
9. Sketched out the designs myself to present to artists I will commission in the future so I can give them a base to work from, which I have never done ever in the scope of my writing career
10. Decided to and planned out how to exercise again, shitty funds be damned thanks to the treadmill my dad got for Christmas, because I am really devoted to improving my physical health alongside my mental, emotional, professional, and creative health

I don’t fully understand how a single medication could change so many things so damn fast, but I’m strongly reminded of how awesome it was when I first started on my lamictal, so what even in the hell do I care about that?  This is fucking great, it’s not mania at all, I have fantastic doctors and good insurance and for the first time in months I don’t feel like I’m going to unravel.  I feel like a sane human being.

This is so great.

And also, you folks who are sticking around and not booting me off your watch-lists, you are all brilliant stars and I am so grateful to have you around.  Thank you.

=> Come home from work

=> See that my reblog has been replied to

=> Read that the other user believes Akio isn’t a rapist

=> Read that the other user believes I need to change my definition of rape

=> Read that the other user believes I am bad at debates because I directly state that I find them an awful person for their beliefs

=> Regard post sleepily

=> Mentally file entire conversation under “genuinely awful things that require no further thought or interaction”

=> Shrug

=> Go purchase new HS album

=> Go make dinner